Romantic Intervention
by manoojanoo
Summary: Lester and Hal decide to do a little romantic intervention and hook up Ranger and Stephanie. However, romantic intervention isn't nearly as easy as it would appear. Disaster invariably ensues...
1. Chapter 1

-.-

Lester and Hal were sitting at the bar, brooding silently and manfully over their mojitas when Lester spoke up:

"You know, Ranger's in a lot better mood these days."

"Yup."

"He hasn't given anybody the death glare. He hasn't pummelled anybody to a pulp. He hasn't shot anyone." Lester ticked off the list on his right hand.

"Yup."

"And Bombshell has also been around a lot lately."

Hal gave him a look. "Where you going with this, Les?"

"I'm saying there may be a direct correlation there. Cause and effect," he elaborated upon Hal's blank look. "Boss is so happy 'cuz his lady's making him happy."

Hal nodded slowly. "Yeah, okay, I follow you."

Lester swigged his mojitas. The customer beside him gave him a strange look, but abruptly shied away upon receiving Lester's glare. Just because they were a pair of muscled, heterosexual males didn't mean they couldn't drink a mojita at a bar at 7 in the evening.

"So, I asked myself, 'Lester, how much happier would the boss be if he hooked up with Bombshell full time?'"

"Real happy?" wagered Hal.

Lester slammed down his mojita. "Damn right he would! And you know what else?"

Hal gave an appropriately enquiring look.

"If he and Bombshell hooked up," Lester continued, "that means Ranger would be off the market. That means that there'll be less ladies swarming around him, which means there'll be more ladies swarming around _us_."

"Huh. I guess it'll be a good thing if they hooked up, then," Hal said. "So, what do you want to watch for movie night?"

Lester wasn't listening. Lester was busy gazing off into the distance, a thoughtful expression on his face.

"Hal," he finally said, "this is a golden opportunity. One that we can't just leave to fate."

Hal was puzzled. "The movie? We aren't leaving it to fate, we're choosing it right now. Personally, I'm leaning towards-"

"No!" Lester leaned forward, his eyes lighting up with the spark of an idea. "I'm talking about the boss and Bombshell. Hal, we can't just leave it to fate that they'll get together. We need to precipitate their hooking-up. We cannot let this opportunity to get more hot chicks slip away just because Ranger and Bombshell are a bit deluded about their feelings for one another."

Hal looked sceptical. "How?"

Lester smiled and slapped Hal reassuringly on the back. "Don't worry, ol' buddy._ I've got a plan_."

-.-

**A/N: Good? Bad? Want to read more? Feedback, please.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: All property of JE**

-.-

In the enclosed confines of the elevator, Ranger's irresistible scent was magnified around her. She breathed it in, restraining herself from taking long, heady lungfuls of the heavenly scent. Ranger, as usual, was stoic beside her, his mind no doubt drifting along in some zen universe where everybody conversed in monosyllabic phrases. Casually, she stepped closer to him, closing her eyes and taking one long drag...

"Babe?"

"Yes?"

"Are you sniffing me?"

Stephanie contrived to look offended. "Excuse me?"

Ranger smiled. "Babe, if that's what you wanted, I would gladly-"

He didn't have the chance to finish his offer for, at that moment, the elevator jerked to a stop. Caught off balance, Stephanie stumbled and grabbed at the handrails.

"What the-"

The overhead lights flickered and died.

"Ranger?"

"Just a moment, Babe." The illuminated face of Ranger's cellphone cut through the darkness. "Tank? Yeah, we're in the elevator, what the hell happened?" Ranger paused, listened, then clicked his phone shut.

"Are they coming to get us?" Stephanie asked, hopefully.

There was a beat of silence.

"They're not sure what's wrong with the elevator. They're trying to see if there's something wrong with the circuits."

"Can't they just break open the elevator?"

"Babe..."

No one was coming to save them. No one knew what was wrong.

She were stuck in an elevator. Alone. In the dark. With Ranger.

-.-

As people ran around the control room, barking at each other and frantically pressing buttons and opening circuit panels, Lester sat in his swivel chair and contemplated lunch.

Lester had had many fantasies about elevators. There was something about the location that was both secluded yet open to the public that never failed to turn him on. And so, it had been the most obvious venue for his first romantic manoeuvre.

In the end, it had proven laughably simple to orchestrate it all. All he had had to do was wait until Stephanie and Ranger were in the elevator, run up to the control room and then snip away at the circuit wires feeding the elevator.

He stretched in the swivel chair like a satisfied cat.

In one fell swoop, he had provided the perfect setting and opportunity for a romantic, _up-close_ encounter.

What could go wrong?

-.-

When Stephanie was seven years old, she had accidentally locked herself in a cupboard while playing a game of hide and seek. The cupboard door had jammed and she had crouched in the dark, small space, waiting for somebody, _anybody_ to find her. It took an hour before anybody finally did - her cousins had abandoned the game of hide and seek and had gone to the neighbour's to see their hamster - and only when her mother came home did anybody hear her screams for help.

Now, in the darkness, she felt just as she had in the cupboard all those years ago.

"Babe."

"Hmm?"

"You're hyperventilating."

"No, I'm not," Stephanie gasped.

It was just that the elevator suddenly felt very small. And dark. And her lungs felt very heavy, as if oxygen was trickling away from them, despite her deep, long gasps...

"We're going to die," Stephanie blurted. "We're going to die because nobody will find us and nobody will get us out and we'll just be stuck here."

"Babe-"

"And then we're going to asphyxiate and die and run out of oxygen and then...and then..." Stephanie gulped. "And then I'll forever be remembered as _that chick who asphyxiated in an elevator, oh god, oh god.._."

"We're not going to die, Babe, calm down."

"And what about my open casket?_ I'm ten pounds overweight and I can't really squeeze into my jeans and I'm going to die looking like a cow!"_

"Babe..."

"I can't look like a cow for my funeral!" Stephanie sobbed. "What will everybody think? What will my mother think?"

"Babe, calm down -"

_"And what about Rex?" _Stephanie wailed. "I can't leave Rex -"

At that moment, Ranger reached over and pressed her face into his chest. It was less an act of comfort and more of a way to shut her up.

"Babe," he said, in the low, soothing voice he used for disturbed rhinos. "We're not going to die. Tank's going to figure out what's wrong and he'll get us out of here."

Stephanie hiccuped into his chest and mumbled something incoherently.

Ranger stroked her hair. "That's it," he said, comfortingly. "Breathe in, breathe out."

Stephanie mumbled something again.

In the darkness, Ranger could smell her - a flowery mix of feminine scents that instantly turned him on. It suddenly dawned on him that they were alone in an elevator for what was likely going to be an extended period of time. It would be a shame to let this time go to waste...

It was just as he was reaching down to tilt her chin up to his face that Stephanie abruptly pulled away.

"I said, I think I'm going to throw up," Stephanie mumbled.

And she did. All over the front of Ranger's shirt.

When she was done, she pulled away and wiped her mouth on her arm.

"Sorry," she mumbled.

"Babe..."

-.-

It took an hour and twenty minutes before the employees of RangeMan, the Trenton fire department, three pizza delivery guys, and a couple of bored, off-duty cops saw the opening of the elevator chute. Lester had a grin on his face as the last inch of the elevator door was wrenched forward, imagining what state of undress Ranger and Stephanie would be in.

Instead, he found Stephanie crouched in a fetal position in a corner with Ranger beside her, a patch of yellow substance staining his shirt front.

The look on Rangers face made the guys in the front abruptly drop their tools and step back.

Lester's grin disappeared. He suddenly had a craven urge to run away. Far, far away...

-.-

**A/N: Please review. They're what keep me going :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**-.-**

**Disclaimer: All property of JE**

-.-

"Lester?"

"What?"

"We've got a problem."

"Not now, Hal." Lester frowned. If only...

"_Lester_."

"What?" he snapped. And then he smelled it:

Smoke.

Oh shit.

-.-

**6 Hours Before**

Lester Santos was not a quitter. Even as a toddler, he had always ended up devising ingenious tactical manoeuvres to divert his mother's attention while he sneaked away with the jar of cookies. It was no different now.

And, although Lester would never admit it, he also felt that he had taken on the role of their romantic guardian. It was his job – nay, his duty – to ensure that true love prevailed, evil fates be defeated, and, most important of all, that he, Lester Santos, be crowned the title of Trenton's most mysterious and most eligible bachelor after Ranger was neatly booted off that pedestal.

"I donno about this, Lester."

Hal's morose voice interrupted Lester's daydreams, which had involved a date with Miss Trenton and Miss April on a beach in Santa Barbara.

"Of course you don't, Hal. You know thinking makes your head hurt. Now, you just leave the thinking to me, okay?"

"But, Lester, I'm scared."

Lester looked over at the six feet tall, muscled security man who seemed capable of crushing whole walnuts in his hand.

"Scared?" he repeated.

"I don't think Ranger bought that whole rats chewing through the circuit box story-" Hal began, before Lester clapped a hand over his mouth.

"Hal, I don't know what you're talking about," Lester said, slowly, glancing furtively around the bar. Ranger had ears everywhere.

"Lester, I'm talking about how you bribed the electrician to say that rats were the ones who chewed through those wires when it was you-"

Lester slapped Hal across the face. Then, he grabbed a fistful of Hal's shirt and yanked him forward.

"Hal. That never happened," Lester repeated. "Do you understand? That. Never. Happened."

Hal's eyes were wide as he nodded in ascent.

Lester relaxed. The look in Ranger's eyes on that day...He internally shuddered. If Ranger were ever to find out what he did, he would undoubtedly be at the bottom of a river. With a sack over his head. And a bullet in his cranium, just for good measures.

"But, that's not going to happen this time," Lester continued, partly to reassure himself. "I've got it all figured out. Nothing's going to go wrong."

Hal nodded. Hal did not want to be slapped again.

And it _was_ an ingenious plan. An ingeniously simple plan with all the potential of a home run.

They would take Bombshell to the bar. Once she was liquored up to the point of incoherency, they would escort her back home. Hal would convince Stephanie to put on a sexy dress (hence the need for her to be as drunk as possible) while Lester decorated the apartment with rose petals and candles. Then, they'd use Stephanie's phone to text Ranger over and leave. Ranger would come, find the candles and roses and assume Stephanie had arranged a romantic tete-a-tete.

And then...

Lester grinned. In the morning, Stephanie would have no recollection of the previous nights events, courtesy of a killer hangover. Hell, she'd probably assume that she _had_ arranged the whole thing.

The plan was perfect. Flawless. Nothing would go wrong.

While Lester glowed with confidence about his new tactical manoeuvre, Hal was making plans of his own. Plans that involved booking a flight to Mexico, where Ranger couldn't find him and kill him after this was all over.

-.-

At a quarter to 11, they were dragging Stephanie through her front door. She collapsed on the sofa, giggling like a wind-up doll.

"Hal?"

"Huh?"

"How many shots did she have?"

Hal looked like he sincerely wanted to count on his fingers. "Um...I think...ten?"

Of course it was ten. That was when his fingers ran out, Lester thought bitterly as he looked down at Stephanie, who was currently singing about My Little Ponies. This was not the seductive image he had envisioned would be awaiting Ranger.

"Okay, you get her into the bedroom and get something nice on her. I'll get the candles and shit from the car."

Lester went out the door, leaving Hal staring down at the still chorusing Stephanie.

Hal had mixed feelings about Bombshell. On one hand, she was a great sport, good for a laugh and a beer.

On the other hand, she'd once stun-gunned him.

Hal approached Stephanie as if approaching a wild bear.

"Bombshell, c'mon, we gotta get you into the bedroom."

Stephanie made a raspberry and giggled.

A few months before, Hal had watched a survivalist show about what to do when dealing with wild animals. The reassuring voice of the survivalist came back to him now: _never show fear._

Hal squared his shoulders. "Bombshell," he said in a firmer voice. "We have to go."

In response, Stephanie stuck out her legs and tangled them with Hal's. Hal lost balance, tipped forward, and found himself sprawled on top of Stephanie.

_Oh no. Oh no oh no oh no oh no_. This was not a position he was supposed to be having with the boss's girl.

Stephanie's legs coiled more tightly around him, like a python coiling around its hapless victim.

His brain went into full alert. His brain wanted to save him from being ripped into little pieces if Ranger were to walk in and see him in this position. Panic and adrenaline surged through him, and, with Herculean strength, he ripped himself out from the Stephanie's legs. _Yes! Success! He had escaped from the python's grasp!_

And then he promptly lost his balance again, tangled with the legs of a chair and smacked his head of the edge of a table.

When the dizziness had gone and Hal had managed to get up, Stephanie was skipping around the living room, on the third verse of My Little Pony, and Lester was standing over him.

Lester did not look pleased.

"I fell," Hal explained.

"I could see that."

"Bombshell's legs - pythons-" he babbled.

Lester rolled his eyes. Obviously, the big guy had had too many shots himself.

"Whatever. Just get her into the bedroom."

Hal nodded. Blood speckled on the front of Lester's shirt. Hal stared at it, agog. How had that -

"You've got a cut on your forehead, Hal. It's bleeding."

Hal touched his forehead. Oh. He was bleeding.

Lester rolled his eyes again and stalked off, muttering darkly about incompetent sidekicks.

Hal's cut could wait for later. Right now, he had a more pressing problem. He watched as Stephanie conducted a half-pirouette that ended with her lying on the floor. _Study its behaviou_r, the survivalist had said._ Then approach with the utmost care_.

Hal slowly stalked towards Bombshell, picked her up, ran to the bedroom, and deposited her onto her bed.

On the comforter, Stephanie began to roll around and make baa-ing noises.

"Baa, baa, baa," she bleated.

Hal stepped back in alarm. Drunk women were not supposed to act like livestock. His hand inched towards his gun in an involuntarily act of comfort, but he stopped himself.

He turned and surveyed Stephanie's closet. It was even more alarming than Stephanie's bleating. There were clothes everywhere, bursting in every direction. He gingerly picked up a purple one and lifted it up for inspection. It seemed okay. Purple was a very good colour, Hal had always thought. Like Barney.

He tossed the dress to Stephanie. "Put this on, okay?"

"Okie-dokie," Stephanie giggled.

Hal gave an internal sigh of relief and left the bedroom, closing the door after him.

"Help me light the candles over there," Lester ordered. He was in the process of distributing rose petals artistically over the floor.

Hal didn't see the point of candles and everything, but then again, he didn't understand a lot of things, as Lester had pointed out. Sighing, he picked up a lighter and began lighting the spindly candles lining the room.

A few minutes later, they heard a banging coming from the bedroom.

Lester and Hal found Stephanie, still fully-clothed, but now with the purple dress pulled half-way over her head. She was thrashing around on the floor.

"What is_ that_?" Lester asked, repulsed.

"Huh?"

"That_ thing_. Don't tell me you got her to wear t_hat_."

"It's nice," Hal said, defensively.

"She looks like an eggplant." Lester walked forward and pulled the dress off of Stephanie. She gasped and shrieked, "I see the light!"

Lester sighed. "Shit. Do I have to do everything myself? No, don't answer that. I'll get this sorted out and you finish with the candles."

Hal walked off, mumbling something about Barney.

Lester selected an appropriately short and black piece from the closet. He speculatively surveyed Stephanie, who was swaying on her bed like a drunken sailor.

He was torn. There was no other way. But if Ranger ever found out...

No. He couldn't think like that. _Focus on the mission_, he steeled himself. _What has to be done, has to be done._

He stepped forward, moved Stephanie so that she sat facing the opposite direction and began to pull her shirt over her head.

Lester had undressed countless women. From the age of 15, he had become adept with handling zippers, buttons, and fastenings with the ease of long practice.

He had gotten the shirt halfway up her stomach when Hal called from the living room.

"Lester?"

"What?" Lester snapped. Stephanie had begun thrashing around again. He tried to ignore the baa-ing.

"We've got a problem."

"Not now, Hal." Lester frowned, trying not to be distracted by the black bra that now peeked out at him.

"_Lester_."

"What?" he snapped. And then he smelled it:

Smoke.

Oh. Shit

He ran into the living room and found flames licking up the living room curtains. Hal was using a dishrag to beat at the flames.

"Use something bigger!" Lester screamed.

Hal dropped the dishrag and picked up a chair.

"Not that, you idiot!" Lester wrestled the chair out of Hal's grasp. Hal's eyes were glazed with panic. Blood trickled from his still open cut. He looked like a newly animated Frankenstein.

"Get the fire extinguisher from the hallway!" Lester yelled.

The front door open and an elderly woman poked her head in. "What's all this racket-" She stopped, mid-sentence, staring open-mouthed at Lester, who was holding a chair aloft, Hal, whose face was now covered in blood, and the curtains, which were quickly becoming consumed by flames.

The old woman turned and ran out, screaming: "FIRE!"

Up and down the hallway, doors began to open. "Fire?" "What fire?" "For Christ's sake, what's all this racket?"

The old woman returned. She had a fire extinguisher, and was brandishing it in one hand like a machete

"Get out of the way, sonnys!" she screamed, and let loose the fire extinguisher.

It all proved too much for Hal. What with the concussion and the stress of this entire episode, Hal's brain took pity on him and promptly decided to disengage. With a groan and a "I should never have gotten out of bed", Hal fainted dead on the floor.

-.-

Stephanie slept through it all.

She slept through the screech of the three fire squads as they screamed into the parking lot. She slept through the parade of people who came to gawk at the ruined wreckage of her apartment. She slept through the hasty cleanup of the roses and candles and the unceremonious dragging of Hal out the door.

When she woke up, her head pounded with a killer hangover.

Stumbling into the kitchen, she poured herself a cup of coffee. The coffee splashed onto the counter and she realized she'd forgotten to open her eyes.

When she did so, she noticed the burnt scraps of curtain clinging to her now scorched window frame.

She closed her eyes.

She didn't want to know.

-.-

**A/N: Hope this chapter didn't disappoint. Reviews are much appreciated!**

-.-


	4. Chapter 4

-.-

**Disclaimer: All property of JE**

-.-

"I'm worried about Hal," Stephanie said.

Ranger glanced over at her. They were on the stairs, climbing up to Ranger's office. (The elevator was still indisposed, a fact that Stephanie was reminded of with every aching step.)

"I mean, he seems all - jittery," Stephanie explained. "Like yesterday, when he saw me in the hallway, he turned bright red and ran into a door."

"What were you wearing?"

Stephanie rolled her eyes. "Oh, the usual. Leather thong and spandex."

Ranger smiled. "Too bad I missed it."

She was going to give herself a brain hemorrhage with all the eye-rolling. She made herself stop.

"I'm serious. And it's not just Hal. The other day, I went to the bar with him and Lester and when I woke up the next morning, they'd burned my window down."

Ranger stopped, mid-step. "Your window?"

"They said they were making a flaming mojito."

"Babe. No self-respecting man would drink a mojito."

She frowned. "What were they really up to, then?"

-.-

At that moment, Lester was in the RangeMan kitchen, doing his best to divert Ella's attention.

"Ella, did you do something new with your hair?" he asked, propping himself against the counter.

Ella was refilling the fruit bowl. "Lester, you know I can't give you any more donuts. Ranger doesn't want you all to get fat and embarrass him."

"Aw, Ella, I didn't mean it like that. I was just thinking how nice you look today."

She gave him a look that could have scalded water. "Lester..."

"Yes?" he said innocently.

"I am not one of those women, what you call _cougars_," Ella said, opening the cupboard to restock the coffee beans. "You are a nice boy, Lester, but I am very happy with my Louis."

Lester could feel his face go hot. "Uh, Ella, I didn't mean.."

"I admit, Louis has been getting along," Ella continued. "He's getting a bit heavy around the middle and he's not so good in the sack these days, but I still love him."

Lester felt slightly nauseous. Ella was like a second mom to everyone at RangeMan. He did not want to think of her in_ that_ way.

"Ella, I-"

"So don't feel bad, Lester." Ella began wiping the counter. "You are a very nice looking boy. You have nice muscles. I'm sure lots of nice girls would like you." Ella gave him a maternal pat.

"Actually, Ella, I'm quite good in that department-"

"You could talk to Louis. He'll give you some pointers. He may not look it now, but when he was younger..._oh_..." Ella gave a longing sigh.

Lester was momentarily speechless.

Ella gave him one last pat. It felt almost pitying. "Or is it.._.that_? Because you can get medication for it. I have a friend who works in pharmacy. I can get something for you. I'll be very discreet, Lester, you needn't be embarrassed."

This was too much. Even for Lester.

"Ella," he said, grabbing her by the shoulders. "There's nothing wrong with.._.tha_t. Actually, it's - it's doing very well."

She smiled understandingly. "I understand. You don't feel comfortable talking to me about it." She lowered her voice. "I'll talk to my friend in pharmacy and get you something on Monday." She turned and began packing up her things.

At that moment, Hal appeared at the doorway. He tossed Lester a keycard, which Lester caught with a dazed expression.

"I think you dropped this, Ella," Lester said, handing the keycard to her.

She looked at the plastic card confusedly. "Thank you. I hadn't realized I'd taken it out of my bag." She frowned and then turned her attention back to Lester. "Lester, I hope I didn't make you too uncomfortable-"

But Lester had already gone, the door swinging behind him.

Five minutes later, he was cornering Hal in the men's washroom.

"How did it go?" Lester demanded.

"I did what you said. I put that little cube thing in Rangers bedroom. Right beside his bed."

Lester froze. "_Right_ beside his bed?"

Hal gave him a hurt expression. "Les, I'm not stupid. I hid it behind a clock."

Lester breathed out a sigh of relief.

The little cube was a device that emitted electromagnetic waves that interfered with one's thought patterns. More specifically, it adjusted them to a more_ romantic frequency_. Lester had seen it online and bought it in a heartbeat. It was a stroke a genius, if he did say so himself. He had pinched the keycard to Ranger's apartment from Ella and while he distracted her, Hal had gone upstairs and planted the cube where it could radiate romantic thought processes into Ranger's head.

Lester grinned to himself. This time next morning, Ranger's thought patterns would revolve around nothing but Stephanie. It was perfect.

His grin diminished somewhat at the thought that several old ladies would soon be discussing the defects of his balls.

Hal, on the other hand, was slowly inching away. His forehead still ached from his five stitches.

Lester, in his opinion, had gone off the deep end. The only reason he had gone along with him this time was because Lester had threatened to reveal his stash of Barney DVDs to the others. As for the fact that Ranger would find out what they'd done and kill them, he had resigned himself to that inevitability long ago. He sighed. He should have listened to Mama...

-.-

The next morning, Lester jogged up to Ranger's apartment and knocked on the door. He was grinning to himself. He imagined Ranger inside, composing love sonnets to Bombshell.

However, the Ranger who opened the door looked as cool and unruffled as usual.

He raised an eyebrow when he saw Lester.

"Just wanted to bring you this," Lester said, handing him a manila envelope. Ranger still had his eyebrow raised, so Lester explained: "I just thought you might want to see it. Right away. They're reports from that new contract we got."

Ranger took the envelope and began flipping through the papers inside.

Lester felt disappointed, then reminded himself that maybe it took time for the electromagnetic waves to work. Maybe he hadn't just spent $250.00 for nothing.

"So, uh, how're you feeling?" Lester said. Surely there had to be_ some_ effect.

Ranger looked up and something changed in his expression. "Actually..." he said. He stepped into the hallway, advancing towards Lester.

Lester took an automatic step back. He suddenly found himself pressed against the hallway wall. Ranger leaned forward and placed an arm on the wall beside him.

"Now that you mention it," Ranger said, but his voice had grown lower. Huskier. "I feel kind of...strange, Lester."

Lester froze.

The husky voice. The arm against the wall. The hungry expression on Ranger's face.

Oh.

Shit.

"Maybe you should go back to bed," Lester said, leaping away from Ranger. "Sleep it off."

And, without waiting for a reply, he threw open the stairwell door and ran down the stairs.

He burst into the control room. Tank and the other RangeMan employees were at their cubicles, passing around contraband boxes of donuts.

"STAY AWAY FROM RANGER!" Lester half-yelled, half-panted.

Bobby frowned. "Les, what's wrong?"

"Ranger - Ranger's not feeling very good today," Lester said, trying to modulate his voice so that he didn't sound like a crazy person. "So nobody go near ten feet of him, all right?"

The RangeMan employees exchanged looks. "Lester," Binky said. "You seem kinda stressed. Here. Have a donut. You'll feel better."

Lester shook his head frantically. "NO! Listen to me! Nobody. Goes. Near. Ranger."

And then he turned and bolted for the washroom.

There was a beat of silence in the control room as they registered what had happened.

"Maybe Ranger's got gas?" Binky suggested.

The others nodded with dawning realization. Ah. Gas. That made sense. They returned to their work and the box of donuts.

Lester, meanwhile, was hyperventilating in the bathroom.

The electromagnetic waves had worked all right. But not in the way they were supposed to. The romantic thought processes were supposed to be directed solely towards Bombshell.

Instead, it had created a sex-crazed Ranger that was a danger to anyone around him.

Oh, God.

What had he done?

He had interfered with nature and fate and created an abomination.

There was no way out of this now. Lester felt a craven urge to curl up in a fetal position.

_What had he done?_

-.-

"That was evil."

Ranger turned and was greeted by the sight of Stephanie sipping a cup of coffee.

He shrugged. "He shouldn't have put that thing in my room."

He'd found the electronic device right before he'd gone to bed and researched its origin and capabilities. After Lester had shown up acting strange, he'd put two and two together.

"But it was kinda sweet," Stephanie said. "I mean, him wanting to hook us up with that."

"Babe." Ranger gave her a look. "That's not all he did."

Stephanie frowned. "Huh?"

"The elevator," he explained. "I've been thinking about it and the rats thing never made sense. I'm guessing it was Lester who tampered with the elevator so we could get some p_ersonal time_ in there."

Stephanie looked at him incredulously. "That's crazy."

"And he probably got Hal to go along," Ranger continued. "That explains why he was acting so weird."

Stephanie giggled. "Poor Hal. Poor Lester."

"Hmm?"

"I mean, they went through all that effort and..." She shook her head, still smiling. "So, when should we tell them?"

"About what?"

"That we've already been going out for the past month."

"Let's give it a few days. Right before I send Lester and Hal off on an _extended business assignment abroad_."

"Don't be so hard on them. They meant well."

"Well, I might just change my mind. If I get in a better mood," Ranger said, taking Stephanie's hand and leading her towards the bedroom.

Under his breath, he muttered, "like I need any help in the romance department", before leaning down to cover Stephanie's mouth with a kiss.

-.-

**A/N: And...that's it! Drop by a review and let me know what you thought about this story. :)**

-.-


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